At what point did the fast self-checkout lane at the grocery store become the slow torturous death it has turned into.  It used to be a great way to run in, pick up some pantyhose (don't judge me) and zip out.  Those with just a little bit of fear of the computer stayed away and in the clerk driven lanes.  It was a perfect system.  But slowly, people who shouldn't be in the self-checkout lanes have gravitated over to them.  I give them credit for overcoming their fear, but enough already.  These machines have been around,... what?  Five years?  If you haven't figured out how to go through the self-checkout lane, pay, then put your items in the bag or on the belt (the system won't let you scan another item until you do), please, for the love of God, go through a clerk lane.  You're gumming up the works.  It is seriously almost quicker to go through a clerk lane than to endure the employee constantly having to come over to help or override the flashing red light.  If  had hair, I'd be pulling it out.

And to the person who takes their cartload of 75 item through the self-checkout lane,,,,, There is a special place awaiting you.  Hope you like the smell of sulfur.  Peace out!

.... been lubing up the ole' probe.  That sounds wrong in so many ways.

Been trying to get to the gym more regularly.  Okay, "trying" is a bit of a stretch.  I went once last week.  Nothing I hate more than changing in the locker rooms when a HUGE monster of a human is changing in there too.  Just ripped something fierce.  It is way hard to bend over to put on your workout shoes while holding both your breath and your gut in.  I'm still seeing red in one eye from the blood vessel that burst. Hey  Schwarzenegger,.... I work out during the week at 10 am to avoid specimen like you.  Get a job!

-SEVEN reporting in...

Television.  This is how my race familiarized ourselves with Earth culture (at least in the U.S.).  I tried watching some sitcom from India, but after ten minutes, I was completely lost.  I'm sure there was a moral in there somewhere, but just way too much dancing for my tastes.  Give me "Married with Children" any day.  Glad to see Al Bundy is still working.

Can't say I'm a fan of the newer "reality TV shows".  First off, being famous for no apparant reason (the Kardashians, I'm looking at you) makes me crazy.  At least on shows like "Survivor," they gotta eat raw octopus and sea slugs (who look a lot like the inhabitants of Venus) and other gross stuff for a shot at fame.  Because you have rich parents, no need to work and can party and be photographed at all hours of the day, doesn't make you important.  It makes you "famous" which doesn't really mean what it used to.  Ahhh,... Ricky Ricardo , where are you!?

As we ready to set off on a grand adventure, I can't help but look back on what got me here.  It was a taxi.

-SEVEN